Amazing + Grace = Friends

Again another hardly to sleep night, where I was sitting in front of my laptop again the usual night life of Teoh...Every night she would be sitting in front, and thinking of any topics to write on / blog on...In fact, tonight, again, she was about to blog about someone in her life, that means so much to her..These someone, mostly appear in large group of people, and they were part of the supplements in life...
Her friends are the topic that she was about to lay on and think...Now, only this night, where she had a simple conversation with her friends, mentally, she was expressing her own feelings towards her friends in her dreams right now at this moment...
I never really sit down and think of my friends, and she was actually just refresh her friends list...2 days back, she was talking to one of her friend, and this friend divide friend into 3 adorable categories, which was close, not close and super not close...Where she kind of disagree with it, but to another point she agrees with it...
And on the second thought, it was not wrong to divide it like that, but it's just not fair to certain friends...I would like to start with the 1st to the last...And here it goes:
Amazing + Grace = Friends...
Close friends : Since mentioned close, you can talk whatever you want and no secrets in between and mostly secrets will be safer than inside a safe box...We know each other like the back of the your own hands, and they will love you the way who you are, need no pretends nor mask to hide yourself behind...It was just being you yourself in front of them, and they would love the old you...
Not Close friends : I can't really recall back on how he categorize this, but from mine point, it was something like this ;  where this category of friends, are friends that would only do what is half of close friends, which they will help you only when they can and they are able to do so...And they are mostly to be friends are suitable for having fun,  doing mind-blowing stuffs together with you but not to the extend...They were still your friends, but just the quarter / half of close friends...They will help you...
Super not close friends : He categorize it very adorable this time, mostly was Hi and Bye type of it when they met each other, and they were usually always busy with something when they noticed each other around, where only met twice or third time in a week...They were still your friends, but half / quarter of not close friends, and they were certain times are being to real...But, real is good, it helps to cultivate the understanding of true world outside...It was a dramatic world...
朋友可以很简单，也可以很复杂。如果要交朋友，首先要把自己变成愿意叫朋友的立场。当你在埋怨没有朋友的同时，也要想一想，自己是否是一个称职的朋友。Friends can be difficult, and can be simple...If you want to have friends, you must first be one of it, and to moment you complaint your surrounding without any friends ; I urged you to recall were you a good friend to your peers or not...Do not ask how much your friends can contribute to you, ask how much you can give to your friend...
This is a give and take, not touch and go...Its not fast lane, but slow lane with patience and time to build a strong friendship...Quarrels may occur, cold war may trigger, but this was life and friends are all about, just to sit beside each other even though it was such a simple action to commit...
朋友一生一起走，那些日子不再有，一句话，一辈子，一生情，一杯酒...
Simple friendship starts with give and concern, and the most important spice is LOVE and TRUST...Trust them, and love them...Let them know that no matter what happens, you were always there for them...
There might be 3 categories of friends, but, not really happen in my life...As long as they called, they needed me, I will help...Hi and Bye type was simple, as least there's a Hi and Bye, which that already gave me a message to remind me, friends can be categorize, but, as least there is a common word, which was FRIEND...
Dear friends, no matter how many of you read this message, but, I just want to say, thanks for being my friend in my life, and it was truly an amazing grace to have friends caring for you and love you the way you are, so, dear friends, words are not strong enough to express my love and loyalty to all of you...But, I do love you all the way you all are, Hi and Bye might be our least conversation, but, it was our friendship that made us going along our life, and I truly appreciate what friends are for...And, it was truly a grace in my life, which was a gift that each humans have equally = friends...

Management

It was such a random topic, and it was also a problem faced by so many students especially in college and university students...
There was once my life was too unbalanced, tired of everything...For that moment you'll just want to lay down in your bed, off your phone and do nothing...
It was easier to say than done...Loads of things are unexpected...And I understand...
Management can be easy, so as difficult...
Management to me was a word, but difficult to execute, where time to time my plans are there, for sure certain something more important chipped in and made it so difficult to made choices...
It can be perfect, and it can be worst, when you planned, and it was so nice to follow, and a sudden plan might change it for the rest, and the fun part is that you need to alter from time to time...
There's a saying : Planning never beats changing, 计划永远底不过变化...
Plan change due to changes...And it was cliche, but, it was true...
No matter how detail you plan, changes will do their job..At least, consolation here is that, when there is a planning, there is a chance...At least it was planned, not really last minute for everything...
Time management, self management will always a curse for me to break, and time to time my plans always get screwed even though I planned at the first place, for times, I would never lay my trust on plans, it was be change anyway...
Not to be a pessimist, but, sad to say, plans seldom work on me...I had to clear everything, before I make sure everything was so called "planned"...Organizing events are different, those are firm decisions, and they were on schedule...
What I was stressing here is myself planning and management...The moment I make sure nothing happen, there will be something happen...The moment it was confirmed free, then plans chipped in...
I can't really promise anything early, because good things happen to frequent to trust, like everything was in plan, and that was the scary part...When bad things happened, you'll miss your steps, and finally ended up fail your life up...
Time anticipation, management's important element...Time was so less, and you only had 24 hours a day to complete all the stuffs, which it was change in just a sudden...
It's not disaster that you might can predict earlier...A simple phone call might change 1 week's plan...
With no expectations, I always had to drag answers and finally ended up forgotten what I need to do next...
I would only write down what was important, and what I needed to took in account...
My management for now : Change according to what was suppose to be changed..Never ever anticipate...

I can't do it Alone

It was quite a day for me...Results coming out today, and I was so eager to expect that I can do better this time, but apparently it doesn't work out most of the time...
I was in cyber cafe today, just to check out on my result, while my friends having lunch nearby...One of them came in, and the screen was still on the loading page...African drum type heart beating was so strong, and it was haunting me like old times, but it was different this time...
I finally log in, and it was still loading...I stare at my friend, and she told me it was already out...
I stone a while, I drop my bag on the floor, and I just can't took my eyes out of it...
I was so sad at that particular moment, and I was so angry at myself...Scholarship might be gone, and my CGPA drop like hell, I was so sad, I can't stop cursing, I am so sorry for her at that time, listening to me cursing...
I almost cry out loud...I just can't believe my CGPA dropped...
I can't just pretend nothing happened at all...IT DROPPED !!!!!
My friend / classmate, sitting beside me...Telling her how it was, not just about scholarship, but also how I feel, spitting out the usual things that I use to (I can do it, I know who I am and blah blah blah)...She knows how I feel, and I had so high expectations on myself, but, the results was so disappointing...Not just merely my confidences and all these, but myself inside me...Am I living for all these ???
I know I am slightly a bit different, but, that went out became a strong ego and pride inside me, telling me that you were not who you are...It was haunting me for so many times, trying hard to go through that barrier inside me, and break through so hard...Ego is controlling, pride was taking over...I KNEW IT !!!
I just can't go through that cliff, by my own...I am not strong enough mentally...
I fell down to the cliff of ego and pride...Strong from the outside, but rotten from the inside...
It was taking over and over again...I need to be firm, in fact I am trying to hard not to bother...
Yesterday night, reading her blog again (Don't Bother), preparing mentally just to make sure I didn't break down, and it went through really without bother about it...
Easier to say than done, letting it go really takes time...I can't keep sulking for the whole semester because of this, I know, and this can't be contagious...But, the whole day, I think I'm gonna mentally breakdown, especially now in the sea of ego and pride (it already happened)...
I am not strong enough, and I truly was never ever (mentally strong)...At least there's a consultation prize ( 1 A-), but still, I am not strong enough to cover it up, but, it won't happen tomorrow, but today, it might be a sleepless night...
I will try my best to get out from it, but, I can't do this alone...

Nasi Lemak: Malaysia

I was never realize that Malaysia had talents like these media people, and they were so eager to send the message to the public...
This was the 2nd time I watch local production movies at cinema, and I was never realize it would be so educational, and the message was so obvious, and Malaysians would only understand what this is all about...
The title was a common local traditional delicacy, name after Nasi Lemak...Which was so localized and it was so close to Malaysians...
The movie was about a cook that help a family get back it's restaurant operation right...Malays appeared, Baba and Nyonya appeared, Indians appeared and even Chinese appeared, it was truly to said 1 Malaysia...
The producer of this movie was from Muar (same with me), I was proud for him, not because his past actions towards government, but his courage of how he produce this movie and sending the message to everyone...
Nasi Lemak, was a purely movie that raises up how he actually loves Malaysia as his home...
Malaysia was multi cultural and multi races country, everyone had the right to voice up what they had said...The foundation of Malaysia raised from 3 different people, and it became Nasi Lemak...
Not to say that I describe my country as nasi lemak, but, it is truly a combination of various of simple spices and ingredients, and it tasted so well, just how Malaysians like nasi lemak...
Nasi, sambal, telur, ayam rendang, ikan bilis and kacang, all these were just simple, but, joining together with all these, it became one of the symbolic must try food in Malaysia, and people loves it the way it taste, so original, and who knows, it was just a combinations of a few simple stuffs...
At first, I though Nasi Lemak was just another movie on expressing stuffs and complains, but, it went out not, and it really breaks my glass when I was watching it...
The message was clear, that we Malaysians had what we had, and we were grew up in this particular land with zero visits of tsunami, tidal waves and stuffs, and we enjoyed what Malaysia actually had...We may not have 4 seasons a year, we may not have big lands like the States, but we have the tropical feel that the others was looking for..We had the biggest flower in the world, we had 2 world heritage, we had wonderful cultural background, and we have beautiful islands to rest on...This was what Malaysia had...
Small Malaysians like me, having dreams that our country would somehow change, but, I would say it right now to remain what Malaysia is having....
Malaysia just celebrated it's Malaysia Day and National Day...I just can't believe that our country had grew so long, and it was still Malaysia like...
I love this movie, not just the creativity and the laughters, because I grew up here as a Malaysian for 20 years, and I was so grateful to what I have right now...Name Wee (the director), last song was about how Malaysia was truly are, and it was true that Malaysians are just like nasi lemak...Without any of the ingredients mentioned above, Malaysia wouldn't be that nice as nasi lemak...
I have a dream, dreaming to Malaysia, that it will continue to grow, no matter how it was, Malaysia is still my home...How round the moon was in the overseas, and nothing beats more than my home, Malaysia, which was just like nasi lemak, making its way through to become a star in Asia and the world...

你不会是一个人, You were never alone

当很多人都说我可以的时候，他们真的可以证明我可以。
当我告诉自己我可以的时候，我真的可以。
力量很大，自信心也很大的时候，往往都会和许多美好的东西擦肩而过。
不错，我相信每个人都可以。
但是，当你每次说你可以的时候，你会觉得累。
累了，你想要做什么？
累了，你会有许多想法；放弃，丢辞职信，什么都有，和红豆冰没有差别。
不过，这个世界没有了我可以，它一样转，因为它不会因为你一个人的累而停下来。
不过，当你累的时候；请想起身边的同你一起奋斗的伙伴。
累了，就好好休息。把自己交给自己。你不会是一个人，You were never alone...
一个人说我可以，和许多人一起说我可以的力量往往都不一样。
在这里想和大家分享一个故事：
从前有个人，经常带着我可以的面具到处走。这个面具为她带来了很多可能；也同时许多的不可能。这个面具；为这个人的生命增添了许多的色彩；丰富了她的时间。很可惜；生活也开始变得不一样。身体上的累，往往都比不上心灵上的累。每个人都有每个人的烦恼，每个人都要继续每个人的生活，兼顾多种要职。如果她在这个时候喊累，想要放弃，其他人算什么？每个人都忙，她勉强走下去。最后，在一个生活营里的一个晚上，她向所有人诉说她内心的话。她哭了，队友们的付出，队友们的关心，让她开始觉得自己真的不是一个人。以前学长和老师都告诉她，我们不是一个人在做，是一起做。到了当天晚上，她才真正了解什么是teamwork and together。她回来学校的那一刻，很开心，掩饰不到心中的喜悦。她相信队友，相信自己。她终于了解了，明白了。现在的她，真的放开了，相信自己，相信队友。因为，她不是一个人。
完。。
相信别人和相信自己的感觉是不一样的。她放开了之后，虽然工作照旧要做，不过，不会像以前一样盲目；她和队友们也很开心在完成任务。虽然需要时间来证明大家的脚步；再回首，脚步渐渐清晰，脚步渐渐明朗，一起见证走过这条路。心态改变，所有的一切都会改变，力量也不同，请收住那一份感觉。她们一起创造属于我们自己的脚步，平起平坐，同手同脚走下去。
Friends are there for each other, even though it was just as simple as sitting beside you, you were never alone, because people standing beside you, supporting beside you had a reason, they will trust you how with how much you trust them...So, trust them, you were never alone...

中秋

中秋到了，又是同样的时间。
两年了，时间过得快；当中改变的事情也非常快。
两年在吉隆坡；中秋都落在开学前的一天或者两天；都有机会和家人共庆佳节。
家乡的小孩都很多，表弟表妹们大部分都很小。
佳节前夕；小孩们开始点灯笼，玩蜡烛，等等等的新注意，就是为了让气氛和回忆多添了几些。
外婆家有空间，大人们就如平时吃喝聊天；小孩就到处闹。
我和妹妹就是看管小孩的人；只要确保他们没有受伤，基本上都是一起陪着他们一起玩。
回忆不起几年前中秋如何过；有一年的中秋记忆特别深。
那年的中秋，阿姨还没离开；恰好我在，恰好阿姨回来了。
我也终于看见她。
当晚外婆家有简单的聚餐，朋友亲戚都来，热闹非凡。
阿姨身体不适，也亲自下一点点厨（她的强项就是很会下厨）。好久没有吃到她亲手做的菜。
当晚我也很欢喜，家人都在，似乎我已经满足了。
我很怀念当晚。因为，我最后一次见到阿姨，也是当晚中秋。
2009年的中秋，是我和阿姨最后一个中秋。
中秋本来就是亲朋好友相聚的好日。阿姨的离去，似乎对家人多了一点什么，同时也少了一些什么；都是一些不明不白的感觉；有点矛盾。
中秋庆团圆，我没法子陪家人，有点忙。家人也明白，不过，自己心里思念家里的感觉却是一天比一天浓厚，一天比一天更加思念家人。
妹妹也在另一个国家，也是第一个，妹妹不在家的中秋。
相信妹妹和她的朋友都有同样的心情，思念家人。
不代表悲伤，只是希望以后有更多的时间，留给家人。
中秋节快乐。。

若缘要我知，不知也要知

今晚相信又是一个难以入眠的夜晚。。
独自一人坐在客厅，面对电脑；似乎是一种习惯。
偶尔翻翻面子书，偶尔翻翻部落格；不知不觉也变成一种习惯。
今晚很特别，非常特别。
在我耳中盘旋的歌曲是：悟。
来自新少林寺的主题曲；刘德华是这首歌的作词人，也是这首歌的歌手；作曲人是赵钦。
旋律很美，词也非常漂亮。
这不是我要诉说的重点。
我要来和大家说一个故事：想说。
切勿误会我在绕圈子，故事的名称就是想说。
有个朋友在面子书上收到了一个讯息；每个人都很有兴趣要知道内容是什么。这位朋友也就把内容放在面子书。我本想留言；欲言又止；这就是我的习惯；想说，却又不想说。我反复看着所有的留言。脑子也反复思考，到底要不要留言表态；又是欲言又止的思维告诉我千万不要把自己卷入；会把事情弄得更加复杂；更加玄。
有时，一个简单的留言；会给自己增添不必要的麻烦。
我不想制造麻烦；更不想为别人带来不必要的麻烦。
心中的两个我在挣扎；在怂恿，在做各种的注意。
我当下乱了；我当下烦了。因为我想知道，我想说 - 欲言又止。
我站且放下手上的一些东西；听着这首歌：悟。
多一物，却添了太多危险；少一物；贪嗔痴会少一点。
若是缘，再苦味也是甜。
凡人却视而不见，规矩定方圆。
是缘非缘；我们怎么算也算不到。
我看见了朋友的故事；有一股冲动；想直接了解到底发生了什么事。
好乱，心里真的很乱，想知，却又不想知。欲言又止。
我也很害怕；害怕我自己知道了过后会有什么样的反应。
悟；告诉我多一物，却添了太多危险。
我发现；物并不只是我们看得见，摸得到。听见看见的；也是物。
不是我不关心这位朋友的遭遇；想知道事实真相的趋势心之下，我还是犹豫不决，到底问还是不问。因为，我知道的事情不多；多数都是听。不能就这样下定论。
我一边解决手头上的东西，一边想着 - 悟 - 这首歌。
歌的最后有一句词：简简单单陪你走好每一天。
词；仿佛告诉我该怎么做。
如果是缘份，就算知道了，也要以平常心对待，以平等心对待。
若缘要我知，不知也要知。
我把一切交给缘分，一切交给朋友。
时间到了，缘份到了，我就会知道。朋友要我知，不知也要知。
感谢这首歌；给了我心中我要的答案。虽然很想问，很想知道；可是，知道了又是如何；不知道又如何？
还是那一句话：若缘要我知，不知也要知。
倒不如，简简单单过日子。不是要放弃好奇心和关心朋友的那一个责任，而是把好奇心放在其他位置。朋友有难，我依然会互相立挺到底，尽量做到公平对待每一位朋友。
缘份会告诉我，到底我需要不需要知道。
因为我相信朋友，我相信缘份。

Again an Inspiration from a Friend

Yesterday chatting with a friend of mine, saw one of his status on Facebook, with a quadruple sentence on it...
It goes like this:

Time is precious because we can't control it

Money is precious because we never have enough

Friendships are priceless because friendships is easy to break 

We appreciate things that are fragile important or can't control

It was inspirational, and I decided to blog about it...But I improvised a bit and tell him my version of it...

Time is precious because it flies

Money is precious because it's hard to earn

Friendships are priceless because friends are part of your life

I keep the last sentence...Here it goes again :

• Time is precious because we can't control it, and we can't stop it from flying away, so.....Time flies, and it's fast...
• Money is precious, because it was never enough, and everyone needs money, and the world will never be enough with money, in another way it was hard to earn money; this is the reason why money was never enough because it was hard to earn...
• Friendships are priceless, because they are your friends; you can't buy a friend with a price even though each one has a price,but priceless without an amount...Because they were part of your life, you will never live alone...

Dedicated to him, and the rest of my friend that inspired me in this topic...As I wrote further, I had no idea on how to express myself...

In randomly, I would love to end in this way...

As I foresee, there would be more inspiration to come...

Thank you my friend...

音乐

音乐；为世界增添了另一个舞台。

音乐；为人类增添了一个共同的语言。

音乐；征服了每个人的心灵；不仅填补，而是丰富。

音乐，让人类多了一项工具；来歌颂他们所喜爱的人事物。

音乐；让人类出了用语言的方式来表达自己内心世界，也可以用音乐来传达自己心内的感受。

往往，音乐的效力；比滔滔不绝的话语来得更加有共鸣。

音乐离不开唱歌，唱歌离不开歌手。能够让音乐充满活力的歌手，坦白说很多。

我中意的，却只有90年代的。老了点，听起来，味道还是如此美味。

我喜爱的90金曲；有很多。太多了。

接下来的歌词，都是老朋友，也都是大家熟悉的旋律：

与你分享的快乐，胜过独自拥有。因为懂得分，所以懂得享。分享，有分；才有享有的乐趣。

我知道我的未来不是梦，我认真地过每一分钟。我们都必须认真地过每一分钟，就为了创造我的梦。

把握生命里的每一分钟，全力以赴我们心中的梦，不经历风雨，怎么见彩虹，没有人能随随便便成功。对，一帆风不顺的人生，才是有色彩的人生。

I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, I think about it every night and day, spread my wings and fly away。。人不是因为拥有梦想而伟大，而是因为坚持实现梦想而伟大，就是因为坚持自己能够飞，人类最后真的能够飞。

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part, a hero's strength is measured by it's heart。。一个人的心量越大，能够容人的度量也很大，因为，宰相肚里能撑船。

You're here, there's nothing I fear, and I know, that my heart and my heart will go on and on。。真正的爱，不是要陪着你爱的人离开，为你爱的人好好活下去，就是最大的安慰。

音乐；丰富了我的生命。。

我曾经异想天开，希望能够在音乐里发展。发现，自己的兴趣，始终不在这里，所以，只好放弃。

之后找到了属于自己的未来（新闻系），就再也没有想到要往音乐的领域发展，偶尔回顾以前的梦想，还是觉得自己可笑。

音乐；有疗伤的作用；有鼓励的作用，也有教育的作用。

音乐，就是如此奇妙。能够和人类谱出非同凡响的效应。

有音乐的地方，就有光明。可以这么说。

Holidayzs Recently

Few things come up to my brainzsss during holidays...And it was simply perfect when I can stay at home with family (it's what I usually did, this time my sister wasn't around)...

The night before I came back from hostel, I accidentally/unintentionally injured my leg once again (left side), so, em....Pain of course, because Mr. Left here was injured by the first time ( I guess), so, now, both left and right injured, I shall pronounce both of my legs superb, because I had to take care of two legs which was started to fragile (it's going to be a hard time, but, f*** it), no point crunching yourself up and stop playing what I love, just don't get to hard on it...

My holidays starts in vein, because I was kinda limping for the past days, and it was so not cool...

Family plans : my aunt was here, that was already enough, we just see her once a year, it was my dad's only sister, so....We were having fun...

 Malacca as usual, one of my family's favorite spot of destination (30 minutes drive, it was pretty close)...

Jonker Walk was my favorite, from the starting to the end with non-stop eating fiesta...I love it to the maximum, with all the nice stuffs to eye on, even though I wasn't attracted to certain stalls, but enjoy by just watching it...

I love movies to the maximum as well, with Astro in my house, the instant joy is to have the remote control on your hand, by just switching channels during the commercial breaks....Brothers are cool, when they weren't fighting the controls with you...Since I am at home, my laptop will be, and ends up he started to facing it as well (most of the time)...

I sweep only 3 currently during the breaks : Rio (DVD), Cars 2 (cinema), The Priest (DVD)...

I had camps coming up : 12th to 18th non-stop, which it was another fun for me in holidayzs, I like adventurous camps, so do seminars or talks or something to do with building yourself...SO, for camp organizers, to attract me in holidays (to be frank), the camps must/or contains stuffs that mentioned above, so, be honest here to all of camp organizers, working camp works on me as well, so might as well can attract me with that...Just to be honest here, no offence to all camp organizers (I am a part of it before)...

Me stick with food loads of time in holidays, this is why I was always the same (size), I just can't stop eating, especially TV is around...

I love sports, but can't play it for this time, my leg was in stake (still look swelling), but, since I can walk, o sign of fractured, so need to get it really recovered, for the sake of camp and sports...

I should start my usual reading, since I bringing one of the books back, I should finish it, at least before I started renew/chip in new stocks...

Updating sports would be my favorites as well...The most unforgettable was the MU vs Arsenal, daddy was excited, and it was contagious, because it was an epic with a score of 8-2, so, I was excited as well...I love F1, and I can watch it finally at home, kinda miss the racing sounds and engines of the cars...Badminton was over, I miss the World Cup, my dad miss it also...Loads more to come, so, forget it...

Okay, I seem nothing else to add on...Camps going on, I need plan and work for it...And, I need to make sure my legs are suitable for it...Me dad bring me for the traditional treatment (damn pain........), but, for the sake of it, I had to go through....Now, limping a bit...But no worries, for the sake of my camps and sports, I'll do it, and definitely I can...

So, updates done, got to go for the sport now (TV I mean)....